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Life direction
YFqiqg
No.1900
Hello /adv/, I realize Bharatchan is probably not the best place to ask for advice, but I might as well.
To be clear, I'd say I'm doing well in life, I spent my first year of college (before a drop and before covid) mostly at home, the college at first year was also near my home, this caused no social life, stagnation and just overall strife.
I made the decision to transfer elsewhere, not the best place, but its good, obviously with leaving one's home, there's other problems, living in a Hostel has been annoying, and I'm looking to find an Apartment soon. I didn't have as many friends when I moved because no one knew me and everyone had their own groups, but life has been objectively good, or at the very least okay since 4-5 months.
I wanted to go Abroad, not just for the novelty of it, but really to study and experience things, I understand the regular arguements and facets of this, I took on gap year before my first year for entrances and another shot at abroad. And whilst applying for second year, I did apply abroad, and was waitlisted and could have pursued it further had it not been for the 3-4 Cr price tag.
What I'd like to ask advice on are a few questions that keep popping up in my mind.
As I understand, in life there are no set paths, there's no set purpose, no requirements beside staying alive and well, so any direction one chooses is out of volition, towards some cause or desire or thought. My father has his own ideas, and own volition for the paths he's chosen and cannot understand my own direction. The only consistent direction I have found (which he does not disagree with at all, except the immediacy of going abroad) is to go abroad and work within the creative field.
I feel stupid frankly, I can lead a good life here and I think I am now, but every so often I realize im mostly drifting in life, that I am not choosing any directions, but the directions I do want seem to be locked. I am incredibly motivated and disciplined for when I have a direction, and I can commit to it but I don't know if this is the way to go.
How do I know if what I want is actually "worth it" What does it even mean to pursue anything, should I give up and change my desires?
The only things I want feel stupid, they're not at all realistic or understandable, they're very vain, all of it is just self fulfillment. But I dont want anything else, and cannot work for anything else.
here's what I can do, practically
>Pursue a transfer again, abroad
>Pursue an internship for my third year abroad
>Leave college entirely and join a program that I can do whilst figuring out a way to travel
Cannot think of anything more. In my 4th year I will mostly work on an internship, and I do want to go abroad for it, and so also for my third year. I'm not sure if I can go abroad for my 3rd year internship or 4th.
So I have no idea what I'm doing. My Father would not object to anything, as long as its not too retardedly expensive, he doesn't care if I leave college or not. I have the full freedom to pursue whatever I want, I just dont know what, and the only pre-requisite I can see is that its probably got to be abroad.
Inb4
>just wait till masters
Yes, I am, but I also have to exist and do something meanwhile, and I find no interest in other goals
YFqiqg
No.1901
>>1900(OP)
The things that I want to do are stupid, quite honestly and the desire to go abroad is really the boiled down version of it. But this is all I want to do
I developed a large obsession with sailing and maritime, even though I'm in art and design I want to go around the oceans in the south pacific or near south america, or work with the Indian govt in Anatartica.
I want to genuinely explore the world, I want to travel for the sake of it. And if not I'd rather live in the west than India.
I understand general disdain for India but I think categorically I just do not see myself fit here, there's frankly nothing for me in this country.
iNybMj
No.1902
You should spend your 20s figuring out what you want to do in life. You're still in college. You haven't even stepped out into the world yet. I'm in my 30s and I am still discovering things about myself - my likes and dislikes and what I want to do mainly.
They say the brain is fully developed when you're 25. Your preferences and dislikes will continue to change in the coming years. For now you should trust your gut instinct. You intuitively feel something is wrong when you make a decision, for whatever reason. You should listen to it instead of trying to rationalizing it.
Personal suggestion, if you can afford it, go abroad. Life in India is shit.
iNybMj
No.1903
>>1901
One life... better to do what you love doing than live a lie.
YFqiqg
No.1904
>>1902
Well I can't afford america and i dont know how to transfer to europe now. ill be going into my third year soon.
Internships are an option. My gut feeling wants me to be out there doing something cool (as retarded as it sounds) sitting here rotting in this state just sucks.
I work in art and design and yes, its fun sometimes but it really feels bogged down, I feel like I could be doing so much better work in europe or america or the UK.
YFqiqg
No.1905
>>1903
Not living an exact lie, I do work in a field thats suited for me, but its not where I want to be, not at all and I want way more.
iNybMj
No.1907
>>1906
You'd actually feel satisfied when you tried and failed at something compared to having never tried anything and just letting life passively pass away in front of your eyes btw.
YFqiqg
No.1908
>>1906
But isnt it retarded? That my life aims when I remove any amount of false nobility are just, yea I think thats cool and kicks ass and i wanna be cool?
I want to leave this place and be working in the falkland islands for 3-4 months and then tell people that yea I was in the Argentinian ocean doing maritime research. But that sounds more like the plot for a bond film than a life plan, but thats also the only thing that I could be doing, which even if it sucks Id do it because Id know that I am doing what i want to do.
YFqiqg
No.1909
>>1907
you're not wrong I suppose
iNybMj
No.1910
>>1908
Yes, you should spend your 20s actually living your life out there and trying to explore things instead of what typically happens in India - grinding for meme exams and getting into boring jobs and then get married and then the whole consumerist debt cycle from buying vehicles to houses in EMIs and loans start to happen.
Different people have different priorities - for you exploration and adventure comes first and then family. You'd want to have everything in life but mostly it's about choices and choosing the options that you will regret less. A life full of choices where you didn't truly live is a life full of regrets.
ncmTnh
No.1911
>>1900(OP)
ur expecting way more in life in india bud 98% people in india dont live they survive and theyre happy with that if u got the money go abroad dont waste time here in internships
also am in 2nd year and face same issue
< I didn't have as many friends when I moved because no one knew me and everyone had their own groups, but life has been objectively good, or at the very least okay since 4-5 months.
SAME, but ive realised as we grow old starting a complete friend circle from scratch gets tougher but ive joined some premium gym and its been 2 months and ive made decent progress made few friends who i met only at gym i guess u cant rush and make homies in 1 month at least 2-3 month it takes but its worth it compounds later on so thats the catch keep showing up best place for guys is gym or colleges campuses to build network from scratch
